salam..
hari ini dublin panas tapi sangat wetttttt. usually, i sangat sukakan rain. but somehow, not so much so hari ni. my original plan was to go out, tapi bile turun bawah beli roti utk breakfast pagi tadi, baru perasan yang hujan semalam betul-betul lebat dan membecakkan kawasan rumah. and hujan masih turun renyai-renyai. lalu tak memasal lah kan kalau nak jugak keluar meredah hujan begini lalu make-up ku cayaq (cair). there's just no way. dan sebenarnya tak la berazam sangat nak keluar ke city centre. masih seronok bermalas-malasan indoor walaupun practically dah done so and tak buat apape yang produktif sejak friday lalu.
plus, my friends are going for a eurotrip, the one which i could not join for reasons yang i malas nak discuss here. so, i sebenarnye takde geng nak mengukur jalan sebab those girls takde. lalu if i nak jalan-jalan secara berteman, i have to wait for my mates in the year below us to finish their exam, and then may be we can jalan-jalan secara aktif. fingers crossed.
keadaan sangat tenang dan lapang, it is almost boring. inilah kali pertama berasa sebegini. when i finished upsr, of course resah awaiting the result and menunggu offer ke boarding school. lepas pmr, also tunggu result dan worry if tak dapat ikut jejak langkah my brother to masuk mrsm. lepas spm plak lagi la hebat goncangan di dada menunggu result takut tak dapat straight a's nak buat medicine also macam my brother, sampaikan berserah and join that forecast utm just as a back-up plan. sementara tu resah juga menunggu if dapat masuk kmb macam abang i jugak. dah masuk kmb pun sentiasa dibayangi resah exam dan dapt ke pegi oversea to finally defeat my brother. eheheh. and since study kat sini, of course we have long summer break every year, tapi everytime pun perlu fikir about the coming year in university, doing the fun-but-not-always-so-enjoyable medicine. so in summary dah lebih 15 tahun i diselubungi bayangan akademik and the pressure to do well and survive. and this is the first time i rasa bebas from that belenggu. like all the beban have been lifted from my shoulders. even there's the impossible wedding to plan, but at least i am free temporarily. so i feel ringan dan sangat ringan. rasa boleh floating kalau tak ye-ye menahan diri berpasak di bumi, regardless of how heavy i am. ehcehceh. and no matter how much i selalu nak copy my brother tu, i tak tau why i wanna get married this early, sebab my brother tu so far belum ade tanda-tanda nak married dan hanyalah mementingkan kerjaya dan aktiviti kesukanan. so may be i got this from my other brother. boleh camtu?
speaking of the impossible wedding, i baru nak berusaha bersungguh-sungguh on wedding preparation tapi sume tak produktif. why? sebab i duduk sini and all the mak andams and pelamins and bunga telurs and doorgifts and photo+videographers and everything associated with my wedding berada nuuuunnnnn jauh di malaysia. to make matters worse, i am a very bad negotiator, and sometimes even a pushover. bie plak busy bangat lately, and without him meluangkan masa membuat dan menyetelkan perkara-perkara wedding ni, memang la i menganga je. well, cant blame me 100% either, sebab i tried tau, like contacting the mak andam n photo+videographers to discuss things. but you know what, bie tu yang actually cerewet dpd i. he didnt have the time to do those stuff, so i tried la helping tapi bile i buat, beliau cerewet dan cakap: this one mahal and you sure ke they are good enough, this one murah tapi tak cater all our needs, this one jauh but may be worth it, this one dekat tapi why so tak berpatutan, professional ke die, patut ke buat macam ni why not macam tu, harga tak semestinya reflect the quality, et cetera. so siape yg actually cerewet melebih-lebih sekarang?
bie is especially busy lately. pagi sampai petang, and very often sampai ke malam. hari tu masa i busy nak final, rasanya bie takde la busy camni but once i dah abes exam, bie jadik busy mengalahkan perdana menteri. i tried to be understanding of his kerja, but sometimes (baca : hari-hari) i just lost it. slalu penat menunggu orang yang busy macam tu. i just hope that he won't be this busy selepas ini. dan pray that in the near future i akan jadi seorang isteri yang sangat penyabar tahap dewa-dewa untuk bersama dgn teman hidup yang sebusy itu.
back on the wedding's cerita, wedding shoes belum dapat. actually, belum berusaha lagi utk mencari secara bersungguh-sungguh. promised myself to get it done by friday, but i was too tired last friday to even think. i'm thinking of getting a custom made one, tapi it'd require 3-4 weeks to siap, and i'm just too malas to go out at the moment. yes. too malas times ten to the power of infinite.
patutnya i have a number of things to do, tapi like i said, i tengah super malas nak layan benda-benda yang i patut buat, but instead i keep kacau bie walaupun pakcik tu busy. well i dont care. guess he just have to tahan with this side of me : always need to have what i want. scary, eh? i know.
okay, sekarang dah penat membebel perkara-perkara yang takde point pun seperti di atas. mari sambung doing nothing. semoga hari esok lebih baik daripada hari ini, dan semoga esok bie tak busy sangat so we can sambung talk about the impossible wedding and hopefully get some things done.
sekian, maafkan bahasa yang dah macam tak ada identity mahupun warganegara ni. terima kasih.
siapa lagi,
han si penganggur
yang suka makan anggur
