last weekend was father's day. and this is the 11th year i'm living and breathing without my father.
i miss him so much. but alhamdulillah, Allah must loves him more than i do. and truly, what happens is always for the best kan?
abah was lelaki paling baik i've ever meet in my entire life. even my awesome brothers can't compare to abah. he really loved us. he loved me. i think i was his anak kesayangan (haha perasan. but adek sile jangan jeles). rase sedih bile perlu cakap all these in past tense.
i made a vow to myself, that i'm gonna marry someone like abah, or may be someone who resembles my brothers. someone with lotsss of love, baik hati, a family person, understanding, sabar (see, i dont put 'someone with lotsss of money' sbg salah satu kriteria utk mencari calon suami =p). han tak ingat abah ever tinggi suara pada kami. and if i did wrong that i deserved a scold, my brothers were always there to protect or cover for me. hehehe.
anyway, esok ade paper mcq. tapi xtau nape syahdu n tibe2 mcm rindu sgt pd abah. mungkin sebab jiwa kacau time exam camni. mungkin sebab terlalu homesick and rindu mama. mungkin sebab rindukan my brothers yang busuk. mungkin sebab rindukan my sisters' company. mungkin sebab dah tak sabar nak ke borneo to meet my sweetmunchkins there. mungkin sebab han penat compromising all the time tapi in return, mungkin han hanyalah seperti melukut di tepi gantang..
i miss abah.. Allah, grant him Your jannah...
[penat. penat. penat. and i only have a whole night to finish revising my notes utk exam esok.]
