keep failing to maintain uninterrupted sleep and hence not sleeping very well nor adequately. in fact, jauh sgt from adequate. dah masuk 2 minggu. berjalan sambil membawa eye-bags yg very disfiguring thus, distressing. kepala pun dah rasa mcm loose. and sengal2 sendi satu badan not to mention. oh i'm so old!
i don't have problem falling asleep, if time tu mmg my sleep time. i don't nap in the day. never. bukan sebab tanak, tapi tak boleh. after i fall asleep, i'll sleep soundly for an hour or two. lepas tu, i'll wake up every half-hour or so. until morning. kadang2 i'll lie in bed all night, with such sleeping-waking pattern. but it only gives me headache. so most nights i'll just get out of the bed and try to do something yg konon-konon berfaedah. but i tell you, it's not feasible or i'd say, impossible.
these days, given the long hours in the hospital, and the neverending study marathon, a good night sleep really matters. but when i dont get the sleep, i just lie awake in the bed all night, bcs i'm really really too penat and energy reserves pun dah takde untuk bangun.
berharap sedang tinggal dalam bilik kebal yg kalis bunyi dan kalis cuaca. bcs i'm waking up to the slightest of sound. and i think i do too with every degree change in the temperature.
when i don't get enough sleep, i get cranky. kadang2 terasa nak menjerit marah2 tanpa sebab. haha. i know. crazy me. and i become malas. malas layan org for the sake of being malas as well as tanak jadi marah2 tak tentu pasal. malas stadi (well this isnt an option. but when you try to study dgn kepala yg mcm ni, it is not great at all. you try it yourself, and see what happens). malas grooming so hari2 pegi hospital dgn muka ala2 projek bangunan terbengkalai.
well i'm just being me. cerewet. and difficult. and i'm totally blaming the weather. haha.
sekian. mari main tidur-bangun-tidur-bangun sepanjang malam.
p/s: on anesthetics this week. tak best langsung. but may be this is just the perasaan i get from not sleeping, bukan about anaesthetics. can't blame me if i can't tell between the things i like and don't like. bcs at present, everything looks and feels and tastes the same; tawaq-hebiaq.
[i need my own personal brand of sedatives]
