Bismillah..
It's Paddy's day and I am spending it alone in Tullamore yang aman makmur dan permai.
***
Sekarang with Dr Murphy's team in Midland Regional Hospital Tullamore. Most of patients kami adalah di kalangan orang-orang tua.
Lately, apabila terpandang mereka, I'll be thinking of what they looked like when they were young. Pasti semua cantik dan kacak dan tegang-tegang belaka. Tapi sekarang semua sudah kerepot and smelly and senile. Ade tu yg pelik2 like semalam jumpe sorang pakcik tua ni dalam ward. He has an imaginary friend. Lucu. Scary pun ade. Ade pulak patients yg have Parkinsons, you know, where they have those weird extrapyramidal movements. And honestly, it really scares me to age. Now Han faham why Brian cakap die nak hidup sampai umur 40 tahun je.
On Monday ade jugak a dying patient. Family members sume dah datang and menangis2. Truly, seeing from the outside, I felt nothing. May be sebab I see him everyday and know he suffers more and becomes a burden if he lives much longer. So it's better for him to die. Ish, macam kejam pulak cakap camni.
And kadang-kadang Han terharu dan cemburu tengok pakcik makcik tua dalam ward, yg ditemani oleh spouses mereka yang jugak tua. They are old and dah lama bersama and yet they are still sgt loving and dont get tired of each other. They still hold each other, laugh and make jokes, and yg paling best is that they finish each others' sentences. How could someone know you that much?
Well, if I were to marry and get old, I would want a husband yg mcm tu. Who still loves me when I am old and all wrinkled and kerepot. Who still wants me even when I'm sick and not attractive. Who still fancies me despite knowing all my flaws and shortcomings. Who stays by me in whatever circumstances and makes me laugh. Who understands me more than I do myself. And who doesn't ever get tired of me and my crankiness and not to mention my complicated life.
***
100 hari lagi sebelum dapat menatap wajah-wajah tersayang dalam hembusan hangat angin Selat Melaka.
Sekian. Let's get back to business. Studying is fun!
[100 days to go and I'm Yours! ^^v]
