bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
berehat sebentar di sini setelah pening mem-budget summer plans. berderet2 jemputan kenduri kahwin kawan-kawan, dating from may sampai la end of july. yg kawin in may and june tu, mintak maaf la banyak-banyak. penghujung june baru kami balik. tak dan la. and yang majlis in july pulak, pun tak dapat nak janji. i'll try my best, tapi almaklumlah, cuti dua bulan tapi list of things-to-do macam cuti sepanjang tahun. hahaha.
anyway, sangat happy with all the good news. may Allah bless all of you. kahwin ikut sunnah, and asalkan dengan niat mencari redhaNya, that should gain you pahala.
i guess we have come to that age, when your peers dah berderet-deret menghitung hari untuk menikah. and in fact, dah ramai yang berdua, bertiga dan seterusnya.
me and my little circle of close friends, kalau nak cakap secara general, masih jauh daripada such plans. i dont know. may be sebab kami belajar sampai (agak) tua and among us, takde pun lagi yang dah naik satu lagi anak tangga tu. kami bujang gelandangan. life is great and carefree. i mean, takde la free sangat tapi you know, hanya perlu menguruskan diri sendiri dan bebas. boleh buat apa you nak, boleh hidup secara tunggang-langgang and nobody will care.
being here, lagi la pulak all of our time is only for diri sendiri. sebab, family pun jauh, nak balik kampung is not an option dan hujung minggu kami tidaklah dimeriahkan oleh kewajipan untuk memenuhi jemputan kenduri kahwin, tahlil atau menziarahi sanak-saudara. so really, life is really lapang. and kami tidaklah bercampur kehidupan seharian bersama orang-orang yang bukan peers kami. so may be tak terasa langsung tekanan untuk berumahtangga. kalau orang cakap kahwin ni macam penyakit berjangkit, maka tiadalah sesiapa yang boleh memberi jangkitan tersebut kepada kami di sini. atau mungkinkah kami yang terlalu kebal and possess superstrong immunity from such infection?
honestly, han agak kagum with them, the married folks ni. muda-muda dan mampu memberikan komitmen yang sebesar itu. i mean like, marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. komitmen seumur hidup. you tak boleh kahwin hari ni and lepas jemu, berpisah. tak boleh. bergegar arasy setiap kali talak dilafaz, kata ustaz waktu sekolah dulu. hehe. anyway, so the decision to choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with, is a tough one, kan? memang orang cakap, kalau suka, kalau sayang, lautan api sanggup kuredahi. tapi, let's try to be perspective people. sayang and nothing else takkan cukup untuk bahagia. and sampai bila sayang tu akan maintain dekat level 100% if it's just sayang alone? macam taylor swift cakap, this isn't a fairy-tale.
paling salute pd those yang kahwin masa study. hebat kan? han ni, uruskan hidup sendiri pun kelam-kelibut. kepala otak yang fikir stadi dan main, sampaikan kadang-kadang diri sendiri pun terabai. bilik besar pun penuh dgn barang sendiri. gobok, dah takde ruang nak masuk barang orang lain. katil pun no way la nak share. buku dan nota sekolah berada di mana-mana. kalau waktu exam, lagi la haru. you can't even begin to imagine. percayalah.
i know kahwin is sunnah and part of naluri manusia. may be best kot kahwin bcs sume orang yang dah kahwin cakap macam tu. but the responsibility that comes with that keseronokan is MASSIVE. there are things you have to give up, and tolerate and yang paling penting you always need to be considerate and dalam apape hal kena fikir about that other person, how your action might affect the both of you. hihi. cakap macam de pangalaman je. whatever la but in conclusion, it's just too complicated for me. aiyohhh!!
i love my family so much and sayang sangat sampai rasa nak jadik kembar siam ngan diorang and takkan jemu sampai hujung nyawa. so i guess, if you jumpa your soulmate, you have to think that way as well. to love somebody so much that you would want to spend the rest of your life with that person. may be kita perlu anggap this person as family. but i dont know how that will work, sebab with family, we are blood-related kan? so otomatik macam ade chemistry di situ. may be sebab tu kalau couple nak break-up, one of the lamest reason possible would be 'kita takde chemistry'. with this person, a total stranger yang kamu baru kenal entah berapa lama, is it possible? and the prospect of sharing every single thing, even your private space, is really dreading to me.
if people ask me, nak kahwin ke? i think i'd say yes. hehehe. but i'm afraid the desire to do that is just for the fun of it. but looking at the big picture, han tak tau if i'm ready.
i'm young and baru nak merasa hidup. so may be i'll at least be a few years off from following my 'senior' peers. nak hidup bujang dan gelandangan puas-puas sebelum perlu berkongsi segalanya. that's my plan. but in life, you may as well know, we plan, but only He gets to decide. han ni cakap je banyak kan, silap haribulan dua-tiga bulan lepas ni korang pulak dapat kad jemputan han. kahkahkah.
i know i'm weird, for having this twisted idea about marriage. may be this is why orang cakap, belum sampai seru. may be if i find the right person, i will be like those people: cinta mati, dunia akhirat, insyaAllah.
adeyhh, panjang la pulak entry bile cakap pasal kahwin. kahkahkah.
sekian. mari switch mode kembali kepada undergraduate obstetrics & gynaecology.
perut sebu lepas makan grapes sebanyak setengah kilo di luar sedar,
hanfabulous
-yang tak memasal cuti hari ni-
[tak tau apsal buat entry pasal kahwin in the middle of the week. obsgynae makes me dizzy, and disorientated.]
