bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
it's been a while. too many things going on. too little time to write down everything here.
alhamdulillah, final medicine n surgery was done. how did i do? well, takleh nak cakap pasal result tak kua lg. just can pray and hope that it went well.
lepas exam? sgt busy. busy and lazy. lazy tapi sebab terlalu busy sampai tak sempat nak berlazy-lazy. hahaha. sampai tak cukup masa bernafas. tak caye? sukahati hmpa la. cuti 4 hari tapi nak buat sume bende time tu. mmg la mengah. so next time, dont do bnd2 camni lagi okeh? next time cuti, let's just stay dalam duvet selama berhari2.
with the body yg tak hilang penat exam last week and mengah sb bersukariataktentupasalsecaraberhariharidantakingatdunia, hari ni is my 1st day on obstetrics and gynaecology. macam great, bukan? belum puas cuti dah start another round of misery. finishing medicine surgery and starting off on obs and gynae. it's like coming out of one hell and entering another. ok, tu dramatik, tapi betul han cakap ni. secara cakap melayu-nya, keluar dari mulut harimau, masuk dalam mulut naga eh, ke mulut buaya? or singa? whatever. tapi gist die ade la tu. camtu la lebih kurang. you get my point kan? so i left home at half-seven this am and only let off from the hospital at abt 5 pm. perasaan? mengantuk and sangat2 nak bertukar hijau there and then dalam national maternity hospital tu. lucky hari ni tak masuk ward. sb i was really really really malas (honestly) and takde mood nak buat apape out of my bed hari ni.
to make matters lagi tak berapa best lagi, i'm in the middle of house-hunting. sebab? gerry nak jual rumah kami yg super best ni. and i got the news right after finishing my final osce last week. sungguh perfect to ruin the mood of freedom lepas abes exam. so here we are. here i am. kebingungan mgelabah doing obsgynae sambil house-hunting macam la hospitals not enough to give me headache. anyway, ni la ujian dan cabaran. sb han best, that's why.
and apart from these superficial and physical mess, as i said at the opening line, too many things happen at present. sampai tak cukup tangan nak handle. messy messy messy. taktau nak cakap camne utk mgambarkan the messiness.
you know when life gets complicated, more than it usually is. when things go out of hand. when His wants overrule all else. you get tired. and very tired. and can do nothing abt nothing. ntah la. payah cakap. so tak jadik cakap. korang pikir la sendiri. sambung ayat tersebut jika anda suka.
sekian. dah ngantuk sangat2 taktau apesal tak tido2 dari tadi. eh, ohhh, patutnya perlu baca buku, tapi takpelah, esok je k. ini malam kita tidur secara kayu balak ie tidur yg tahap fire-drill pun tak mampu induce waking-up.
[trial of tepung pelita yg gagal. pengajaran: dont try to do anything, cooking included, andai jiwa sedang kacau. kerana well-being hati akan terlahir pada perbuatan and hence when you cook with jiwa kacau, your food will also be kacau. anda faham ke?]
[even the roses aren't enough to make my hati berbunga-bunga sepertinya.]
p/s: i miss home. rindu gileeeee.
