i just received a good news from a friend. do you know when good news can make you sad? this is it, for me.
i know, i'm just mental.
********
what is happiness?
pelik kan why people always go chasing after it. people who do so claim that they are not happy. but would they recognise happiness when they stumble upon it?
just something to ponder..
*********
i miss home. really truly terribly so. i miss the people who mean so much in my life, who never fail to be there whenever i need them.
my brother said,' you smile more there k?' - he is always the best!
so here i am smiling all day all night, for him. but sometimes it's just too hard, so i'll just fake it. it's not that difficult really, to pretend that you are happy.
********
it's weird how some people can have everything, sometimes without even having to lift a finger. and some others, no matter how hard they work their ass for it, they never have it. but then, always try to look beyond the surface. dont be fooled by the facade. having everything doesn't necessarily means contentment. and vice versa.
********
i was watching house the other day. this week's episode: a case on pathological liar. i hope i can be one, at times. not to lie or manipulate people. but only to not feel things. to have all my limbic system not functioning. so i can be numb from all this freakin-ly weird sensations called emotions.
********
3 weeks of this crap. im tired.
anyhow, im happy. crappy but happy. why?
1. i passed my medicine 1 and legal
2. the good news from that friend
3. i think i passed my surgery A as well. not confirmed, but i'd like it to be true. and i intend to make it so. like how? pujuk merayu bambi in worst case scenario? haha
and just so you know, kitorang punya medicine and surgery exam hari tu susah gile sebab we were sitting for 50% of our final medicine and surgery when we were just doing it for 12 weeks in the hospital. kami hebat, bukan? and dalam kos perubatan ni, medicine and surgery make the most of it. campur a 3 specialties je, da complete. and bebudak irish and mat salleh sume tu takde la terer sgt, they just have the privilege of not having to struggle and adapting life here with the language, the culture and the living-a-thrid-globe-away-from-the-family crisis. kami pun tentu lebih bijak melampau-lampau jika belajar di tanah air sendiri. try la korang stadi dekat Malaysiaku tercinta and see if you people can perform like us di sini. berani?
so in any case, worry not. when sth is out of reach, just ask fr Allah after you've done all you could. isn't that grand? like me, i asked for one good news but Allah gave me 3! best kan? ^^v
thank you, thank you, thank you Allah.
********
kesimpulan: we have so many good things in life. so dont make it difficult by picking up the fault in trivial matters. just be grateful. because the happiest people dont have it all. they simply make the best of whatever it is that they own.
sekian. terima kasih.
[my first time seeing anal sphincterotomy today. it was gross i tell you, and the whole theatre smelled like crap. with the smell and the full view of the back passage, i almost puked on my consultant's crocs. that is how bad a general surgery can be.]
