'I intend to live only up to 40.'
That was what one of the brightest lad in my class said to me this afternoon. When I asked how does he plan to die, he said he'll try something very quick and effective with as little pain as possible. I told him death is gonna be very painful no matter how subtle the cause of death is.
There we were, talking about ending life in the middle of Emergency Department where people are struggling to save lives.
Just got home from the hospital. Stress sangat. Feeling very low everyday. It rains all the time over here and everything is grey. Fell from my bike today and ruined it. My pants and bag were all soiled. I have Trauma mcq and OSCE tomorrow. And I'll leave for Tullamore on Sunday for 2 weeks. I'm tired and feeling increasingly so in these past few weeks. May be it's my fault for failing to cope but Medicine is really eating me inside out.
And nothing is sadder than returning to a cold, empty house after a nerve-wrecking day.
I tried to feel better but it didn't work.
I need a good news. Anything. Just make it good. So it'll make all these better. Because hopelessness is hovering and forlornness is lingering.
The journey is still very long, but I feel so tired I might just as well retire.
