hari ini sangat menyedihkan. dengar badarsila pun boleh nangis. starting the year dengan sesuatu yang sebegini. sungguh, urghhhh tak best langsung.
bie cakap : seluruh hidup.
it can be funny how life takes turns when we least expect it. some say it's the journey that counts, not the destination. but to me, both matter bcs how can the journey be meaningful without a proper destination. people don't go wandering off the road kecuali they are gaga. normal people do so with the aim of memang nak wandering off kan. and how is it possible to reach the destination without going on the journey. unless you ada doraemon's pintu suka hati. okay. so not funny. supposed to be melancholic here.
in the end, it always comes back to one thing : His qada n qadar. if sth's meant to be, then it'll be. but if it's not meant to be, no matter how hard we try, give it your everything, it still won't happen.
and i think this is the only point in my life where i'm gonna go against all my own words, my vows, my ambitions, what i want. on family. on kehidupan. on happiness. and this point, it alone, will change all of my being, myself, who am i, to the core.
i know the fact that in order to get sth, we have to give up sth. but what i don't know was how high the toll is. and even after paying such price, the end would still be at a stake. there's no guarantee. and unlike life, you can't get any insurance for that.
so, knowing that, would we still be willing to make the bet? tak payah jawab. it's rhetorical.
i hope life isn't a joke. bcs i definitely don't get it.
[seandainya ombak laut surut lagi, aku pergi..]
